She loved to shop, and certainly all of us were to benefit from the treasures she would bring from Europe. Bargains anywhere delighted her, and she was an easy target for any salesman. One look at her bulging closets and cupboards would tell her story!
I suppose if I want to look hard enough, I can only fault her housekeeping. She was not interested in this, and so she ignored it. As long as everything was clean, and she managed that others be responsible for that, she was unconcerned about any mess. In the long run, we were all more comfortable as a result! Well, maybe my father and your Papoo were upset when she mislaid checks and important bills that had to be paid. But what a small price to pay for everything positive that she did!
Housework had no place in RGB's life. But cooking did! And what a fabulous cook she was! She loved to entertain, and she did it with ease, ability, and flair! From the days at the beach when there were never less than six, mostly ten, at the dinner table, and then the weekend parties and picnics with the grownup guests, RGB presided over the kitchen in full glory. Later, as we were becoming teenagers, our young friends were always welcomed to our meals. Then, at the Ranch with the war refugees and the many benefit parties for The City of Hope, RGB's food was famous for its quality and quantity. Finally, at the Mahayah, she and Papapa entertained their motel guests more frequently than not. And can any of us ever forget how we, the family, wined and dined?
Like so much of what she did, she thoroughly enjoyed the entire cooking process. She loved marketing, and she always bought the best! Bargains were an especial delight to her, but she never compromised on quality. She had no cuisinarts, or microwaves, or self-cleaning ovens, or caterers to call upon, but she managed to produce the most mouth-watering roasts and steaks, chickens and turkeys and bread stuffing that one could die for! Her cooking was American, Romanian, Hungarian, Sephardic. She did not limit herself. Will we ever stop comparing her pies to the very best in the world, the fruit pies that really started at the Ranch with apples and peaches and apricots picked fresh from the trees in the orchard, with the most wonderful flaky crusts. And of course the ultimate of ultimates, her pastels, those marvelous meat pies that for us were her greatest creation!
I cannot remember her putting any effort into her cooking. She just did it. She never measured anything except by her hands and fingers, a handful of this, and a pinch of that! Seasonings were used abundantly, and everything was cooked by taste. She did collect recipes and she tore from magazines every beautiful picture of food. But mostly I think she cooked by instinct. I never saw any signs of fatigue when she was in the kitchen, and I always knew that her greatest joy was serving her beloved family on her magnificent bone china, the glorious food that she had so lovingly prepared, then receiving the "oohs," the "aahs," the compliments and the applause from all of us!
As in all families there were good times and bad times, dreams and frustrations, successes and failures, possessions and losses. But the emphasis was always on the good, the positive. There was no complaining or whining. The dream, yes the command, was to "go for it," become educated (and that was stressed over and over) and do good for humanity.
There was never talk of making money, of acquiring mansions and yachts and furs and jewels. In fact, I cannot recall any talk ever of money. It was like the family enjoyed what it had, did what it could, worked for whatever was wanted. I suppose that money was spent on anything that seemed to give comfort, happiness, and fun.
We were mostly poor as I look back, but we didn't seem upset by it. Perhaps this sounds saccharine, but I cannot remember anyone troubled by what we didn't have. There was always enough to eat, and our recreation - the beaches, the mountains, the desert - were free. Clothes were hand-me-downs, and the "haves" lived in their world, and we lived in ours. I think the goal instilled in us was that "life" was there to take or miss and no in-between. But life and money were in no way synonymous.
In reading this letter I wonder if perhaps I have made my parents and my grandparents too much the paragons of virtue. If so, do not fault me, for this is how I have been served by memory. I remember the fun, the many parties, the outings and celebrations, the family get-togethers. I remember the wonderful, wonderful Rancho Contento which indeed lived up to its name, and the ultimate joy of the Mahayah which emulated its name and proved to be a blessing, a mahayah, for all of
I look back to the many friendships, the hospitality, the warmth and caring extended by my family. I recall growing up in a completely secure and loving and sharing environment where expectations were high, but failures understood and accepted. If names mean anything, Jeff be proud of yours from the first Papapa. And Rich and Robyn, your names combine his and RGB's names. Erica and Jen, you both share a name together from the beloved second Papapa, my father, and what wonderful traits he had! Jodi, you are the oldest of our dividends, and Bryan, you are the young man of the family, and I think that all of your predecessors are just waiting to see what wondrous achievements be yours.
I think my family would want to be remembered with pride and love. I know that RGB was certainly the driving force always - the matriarch, the doer, the achiever - and I expect all of us, and most who knew her, were influenced by her. She was always a commanding speaker, one to one, in small groups, or in large. But she was also a totally interested listener. Long before "active listening" was a psychological must, she knew how to listen and to hear. Whether problems were being unburdened or stories or jokes being told, she gave of her attention completely.
She would hope that you would look back to the doctors and lawyers and bankers, the educated, the cultured, and the charitable. She would refer you to her cousin, Rose, for whom she was named, a doctor five generations before women's lib! And to cousin Chaim Calmy, President of University Israelite in Haifa when it was first Haifa, and who is written about in Robert St. John's "The Tongue of the Prophets." I have the feeling that RGB is watching us from somewhere, smiling a little, concerned at our and the world's follies, but willing us to make the most of our lives, both for ourselves and for those around us.
Now this letter must end. But not before I sum up once again the traits that made my grandparents and parents so special. They were totally honest and decent people who hated corruption, deceit, and dishonesty with a passionate and vocal hatred. They felt for the underprivileged and worked hard to make conditions better for others. From the blue box in our home for the Jewish homeland in Palestine so many years ago, to the support for every local charity and liberal cause, to the care they gave every needy friend and relative, they never turned their back on anyone or anything.
They supported the orphanage; my father was a Scout leader; RGB was head of the Camp Fire Girls. Every election saw them out campaigning, and of course the children were always a part of everything. We were urged to fully participate in every just cause. I can still remember distributing leaflets for Herbert Hoover, who was the hope of the nation in the twenties, and working as a volunteer at the orthopedic hospital for children when I was barely older than the patients, and spending my sixteenth summer as an unpaid counselor for underprivileged girls. All this was inspired and encouraged by RGB.
I know that my family was always involved. They gave of their friendship and were fiercely loyal and protective of everyone they knew. I know too that each in his or her own way made every day count for something special.
I reach for adjectives that can encompass their character, their personality, their accomplishments, but hopefully this narrative has given you some glimpse of what I cannot put into words. I believe, however, that they were truly fortunate and blessed. For life returned to them a good measure of what they put into it. What I mean is that, for as long as I can remember, they were always surrounded by people who loved them, and most importantly, I think they knew how truly they were loved and respected by all of us, their family.
And so, my beloveds, you, our children and grandchildren, what more can I write? I can only remind you again and again of your wonderful forebears. Perhaps someday your Papoo will write about his side of the family - of Grams, whose pride in her family was only equaled by her generosity, and of Kibbe, only living to do for others. And then Maddie and Jori, hopefully you will trace your own roots. And as this letter comes to a close, a new member enters the family. So a word to you, Barry. We welcome you, we entrust our Robyn to you, and we know that you will only enrich all of us in character and in deed. I would add one thing more, that with the glimpse we have had of your background, we would only hope that you will search and record with Maddie and Jori, the wonderful stories of your own heritage.
Together, then, there will be such a remarkable history that Jodi, Erica, Jen, Bryan, and any other grandchildren to come, will know of the times and places before jets, freeways and television, shopping malls and computers, before the space age and before bombs, of the environment that shaped us all, and of the people who were our family. And you will indeed be proud of your heritage.
With hugs and kisses and my love always and always,
But more important are these words to the newest and youngest members of the family, Aaron and David. This story was written before you were born, but it is here for you too.
You both are so fortunate to know your great grandparents, Nana and Papa, and your grandparents, Bubba and Zayde and also your Gammy and Popoo (when they visit from Los Angeles). But it is my hope thet when you are older you will want to know of the wonderful people who came before, and that is what this story is all about, the bright and beautiful and decent, caring and loving persons who are your heritage.
This is my present to you both with my love always,
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